The mall…the worst place to be with a crazy shopaholic of a girlfriend who stops in front of every store to stare at the manikins for a good ten minutes, then makes her way inside to try on everything she sees. Again, worst place to be. I love Hollister. They know what its like for us guys to shop with a girl, so they specifically designed the store to fit our every need. There are couches in every room with magazines on a little stool next to them so we can recuperate from our exhaustion and read a Men’s Health or something just to let the mind relax for a little. Another key feature of that store is the loud booming speakers that leave you deaf. Not only can you pretend you didn’t hear her when she asked if you like something in that store, but you can ignore her for a good 10 minutes after you leave the store, and blame it on the ringing in your ears.
As much as we’d like to ignore all questions when shopping and respond ‘yes’ to everything, there is always one that girls are very persistent on. “How does this look?” On the outside, is seems like a simple question, but those of us who have fallen into the pit of death, those of us who know how delicate the answer to this question may be, take this moment very, very seriously. A woman wants to hear she looks good…even if she looks like the girl from the ring. When she asks you how she looks, there are certain risks you can take if you want to be honest and tell her how you really feel, but in-field research has shown that in most cases saying wht you really think is not what they want to hear, and they end up buying the ugly dress anyway, and grill you for the rest of the day. If you do mess up and say something that she wasn’t wanting to hear (you’ll know you messed up with the evil glare she’ll give you) don’t try to say anything to save yourself because the second those words left your mouth, her ears already assimilated, and she turned into defense mode. So in a way, saying the wrong thing is like stepping into quicksand, the more you try to save yourself afterwards, the quicker you sink to the bottom. Here are some tips so you don’t end up with a face full of sand. Remember the key to this is to keep it vague and simple.
Tell them:
- “I like it”
- “you look good in anything baby”
- “mmm, yea”
- “nice!” (with a thumbs up)
- If it really looks so bad that you cant even lie about it, then look at what she’s wearing; remain completely silent; look in her eyes and tell her: “you truly are beautiful. I really dont like that dress, but you make it look amazing.”
P.S. I know there are some of you reading this and telling themselves…”I’m going to tell her the truth if she asks me ’cause I don’t have to lie to her. I’m the man, she knows better than to get mad at me over this.” Those of you who think like this, congrats on being the ‘Man’… and going to bed alone that night.
